As I mentioned previously, the induction treatment for the Acute Myeloid Leukemia required a month long stay at the hospital. My second biopsy (first one taken my first night in the hospital and full of bad cells) showed that there were no cells in the sample they took from my hip after the seven days of initial chemotherapy, which meant that I responded well. In other words, all of my cells were killed/I responded well to the treatment. That was a great result and is not always achieved by everyone.
As I got close to discharge, a pool of doctors, doing their daily rounds, showed up to talk the me about the next phase and procedures to be done, began by drawing out this schematic about two different Leukemia treatment options, threw out survival percentages, which I had stated many times not to do. They showed what their modeling software spit out, and concluded by stating my husband and I had some decisions to make.
I sat there angry with tears slowly streaming down my face, breathing shallow, and stunned. I told them I had no idea what this was about, I did not expect this, and said it was inappropriate to drop this on me with no warning, and without my husband present. I stated that I would let them know when I was ready to talk more about this.
It was a dark day for me. I think I may have been in some mild form of shock. I was angry and upset. I felt violated. I had clearly stated that we were to discuss one step at a time, and that any discussions regarding my treatment would involve both my husband and myself. I was also shocked by what lie ahead.
I am not dumb enough to think we were done with all treatment, but I had no idea what we had lying ahead, and felt it was presented in the worst way.
Once I calmed down a bit, I thought about how I may be a bit to blame: I had told them early on that I did not want to hear survival rates etc., as we just needed to choose the best treatment, that I would focus on kicking butt, and we would take it once step at a time.
I felt better the next day, and had the doctors speak with me again with my husband on the phone. We agreed for now we need to proceed with consolidation treatment 1 and then depending the next biopsy results, choose whether to have stem cell transplant or continue on with the consolidation chemotherapy itself although I made it clear to them, I was planning on Consolidation therapy and no transplant.
I made a decision deep down that there would be no transplant. I would do all three to four rounds of consolidation treatment and the only number that would be considered is 100% cure. Period.