September 11th, 2001

What a special time a year this was for me: I was engaged, selling my fiance’s house, building our new home and preparing for my wedding in a few weeks. Then September 11th, 2001. I was driving to work and listening to a radio show when the hosts were told an airplane just hit a building in Manhattan.

They were discussing how it must have been an accident. I knew in my gut that something was wrong: this was no an accident. I walked into my buidling and before I even put my computer into the docking station, I went to my colleagues office and told him what I heard. He loaded his Internet radio station and soon after we heard of the second plane. I called my fiance and his office was already in disarray. We were both going to find a television and find out what was going on.

I then tried to call my mom but the phone lines were overloaded and no calls would go out. My colleague and I went to the fitness center to watch TV. The room was full of people yet silent. And then it happened: the North Tower fell. There was screaming and I think I stopped breathing.  I could not see through my tears. I felt pain in my chest.  After what seemed like hours, I realized my hands were being held and I was in a prayer circle.

I turned to see where my colleague was and saw that he was holding my right hand. I heard nothing but recall being fixed on the tears streaming down my colleagues face.  He was a light-natured but stoic man and seeing his tears confirmed this was not a dream but a living nightmare. I do not remember much after that except suddenly recalling an appointment.

I remembered that I was to have my final wedding dress fitting after work that day.  I tried to call the shop to reschedule as I could not imagine doing my wedding dress fitting when thousands were dying and my country was under attack. Then we were all told  that the major bridge near us might be closed soon as there was concern about the nearby nuclear submarine station being attacked.

I had to leave work but I was not sure what to do about the appointment. I decided to head home and kept trying to call my husband, mom and the dress shop along the way. I finally got a hold of the dress shop and they told me that I could not reschedule based on the seemstress’s schedule. I need to come today or have no final fitting before my wedding three weeks from then.

The thought of going to the dress shop was sickening. I could not go do something that wonderful while so many lives were being destroyed, could I? I got home to find my fiance there and he told me that to do whatever I felt I needed to do so that I do not have regrets. No decision would feel right but yes, I had my fiance drive me to the dress shop. I do not remember much about the fitting but that may be because we were up the entire night and next day glued to the television and in mourning.

We were watching a documentary last night and agreed about how painful it is to think about that day, especially now that our 6 year old wants to understand the purpose was of the memorial service at school yesterday. Thanks for listening as I suddenly felt the need to share this.